An April Fool's Day Rant From Scott

I hate April Fool’s Day.  The only good thing that has really ever come out of it is when my daughter asked what month April Fool’s Day was in.  I made fun of her for awhile.  She still thinks it happens in June.  So for April Fool’s Day I thought I would list some things that are just plain foolish.  

  1. The fact that Television Executives are still trying to copy and paste television shows into any kind of mold.  You should hire a writer.  Read his pilot.  Ask him where the show will go in 10-20-30 episodes and then let him go.  The best shows were all creative and new ideas.  The first show to get cancelled every year is always a Friends copy cat.
  2. I don’t get why we have trash cans that you can’t put trash in.  I mean if you throw gum or food in the bathroom or bedroom trash can, you will really get in trouble.  It is just not done.  And why do we have to bag all the trash in the outside trash can.  Why is throwing trash away bad?
  3. I don’t get why the cable news channels still exist.  After The Daily Show started to show clips of how a politician will say they are totally against issue X.  And then they show them 3 months early saying that are for issue X and any one who is against issue X hates America.  So why don’t the “real” news people use the words of a politician against them?  Oh I know why, because they have given up.  I feel like CNN and FOX are still selling maps that the world is flat when The Daily Show proved it was round 5 years ago.
  4. Why is everyone taking vitamins, using hand sanitizers, smoking less and everyone is sicker than ever?  Could it be cause we allowed corporate America to poison us on a daily basis with the food we eat.  I always hear Bill Mahr talk about what we eat.  But I am not sure what any of us can do when 85% of all meat was filled with pink slime.  So, why do you think our vegetables or anything else is pure?  Its foolish, I say, foolish.
  5. Why do people still drive slow in the fast lane on the highway?  You shouldn’t be the one telling me how fast I want to drive.  I know how fast I want to drive.  You are not a wuss for riding in the right hand lane.  You are following the basic rules of driving.  Move over when you see me behind you.
  6. How did it get to be socially acceptable to check your Facebook while you are at a party with all your friends?  I mean why are the only interesting people the ones you are not with?  Are you telling me that if I hadn’t have shown up and gone out with someone else, then you would be interested in my seeing my pictures?  In fact, next party I go to I am gonna take a stack of 37 Polaroids from my youth and start showing it to the next person that surfs the web during dinner.
  7. Why are we still over air conditioning every building just so people can wear a suit and jacket at work?  Do you really think that because that dude behind the bank desk is wearing a jacket he isn’t going to hike your interest rate up, steal the Government TARP money and not care about your over inflated value of your house because he is wearing a suit jacket?  I say, we cut the AC and all wear sweat pants everywhere.  If it was good enough for Kirk and Piccard, it is good enough for us.
  8. When I buy your DVD, don’t force me to watch 5 previews before I see what I paid for.  Do you not know us well enough to know if you hid the previews in the special features DVD that we would watch them and be proud? Instead I spend the time pushing every button to see how I can skip, menu or fast forward through your crap previews.
  9. Will someone please make something for grown ups?  Movies, television, or music . . . anything.  I get that my teenagers love vampires but I have been over them since Angel left Buffy.  I want to see a real show about real people.  I want to see a movie like Chinatown or The Godfather and I want to hear a CD that rocks me like it’s Abbey Road.
  10.  Why aren’t I in charge of everything?

Wow, now I love April Fool’s Day. Follow us on Facebook or twitter @redroompodcast

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