Quotes from Twin Peaks

I have seen Twin Peaks so many times that almost every line of dialogue in the show is as familiar to me as the chorus of Piano Man.  I also find myself saying these things in real life to other people.  They always ignore me because I say it like they would understand the context.   If you are in the middle of a story and you say, We are not in Kansas, anymore.  Everyone is fine.  But if you say, you remind me of a Mexican chiwawa, they think you are crazy.   I thought today I would share a quick list of Twin peaks lines that I  love to say.  I did not access the DVD’s to get the exact line so please don’t kill me if I paraphrase. 09-Bobby-and-Mike


  1. “Don’t take any Oink, Oink off that pretty little pig.”  Bobby has some good ones throughout the show, but I strongly suggest you start using this one in real life, especially if you have children.  Whenever my wife goes off to ask the children why they left the refrigerator wide open all day, I like to say, don’t take any Oink, Oink off those pretty little pigs.  It is safe because you are saying they are pretty, but also that that are pigs.
  2. “I mean it like it is, like it sounds.”  The one armed man scenes are always creepy.   I say this when no one understands me and I don’t get why.  I might say, “Hey, I really don’t like Chipotle.  I don’t see paying that much for a taco. “   They respond, “why?” I would say, I mean it like it is, like it sounds.  I like this one because most people just don’t listen to what we say.   And if I feel I gave them enough information in my first sentence, I will channel some inner MIKE.  I also like to say, "Eager for fun, he wear a smile, everybody run.”  But again, this is a list where I take them out of context and use them as Shakespeare sayings not just creepy lines, I like.
  3. “Jacques, you crazy fucking Canadian.”  Ok this is a stretch, but I say this whenever anyone mentions that anyone is Canadian.    “Mike Myers is Canadian.”  I respond, “Jacques you crazy fucking Canadian.”  That is when people usually walk away.
  4. shelly“This is where we live, Shelly.”  I have talked about this one before.  But I love to say this as I pull into the garage after a long road trip.  I think in many ways Lynch has an amazing ability to whittle down what life is really about.  I think this line is maybe the most Zen line in the entire series/movie.  What more can be said about life than: This is where we live, Shelly.  My goal for my entire life is to get to say this to someone named Shelly.  Should I set my bar higher?  I think not.
  5. “He’s the Bartender, isn’t he?”  I say this with the French accent and all. “ ees da baatender isn’t eee.”  This one again is whenever someone asks where they can get a drink.  I love saying it like a Renault brother.  That actor’s accent is awesome.
  6. “I have been there before, and I’ll be there again.  But I am in that doghouse again.”  Big Ed is a wealth of great lines.  (“run a gas station, I’m an oral surgeon.”) This one is saved for dealing with my mother.  Believe me, I have been there before, and I will be there again.  I have been known to say this one as I hang up the phone.

What about you guys?  As you will notice it is not about saying “Bite the bullet, baby” or saying “Look it’s trying to think.”  Not just great lines you love but about putting them into your daily lexicon.  Anyone else?

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