Renee Reviews The Golden Globe Award Show

Let me start this post by saying I love awards shows. Each year, I cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and a glass of wine (or three), with my fingers hurriedly texting my best friend. It’s our tradition every Globes and Oscars to cheer and jeer all night. If we only lived in the same city, we’d be able to do it in person. Alas, we are reduced to the text message. Here’s a little bit of our recap in mostly chronological order (and just a fair warning: I’m not caught up on everything, so this will be a little sporadic)... Generally speaking, I thought this year’s Golden Globes was a snoozefest. Ricky Gervais was seriously disappointing after all of the build-up and news coverage. He’s wacky! He’s crazy! He’s obscene! He’s... hosting the Globes and only making a few appearances and playing it wayyyy too safe. Awesome. I would have paid for someone to liven the place up. Although I must say I did enjoy the Justin Bieber turkey baster bit. Other than that, I was mostly ready for bed by 10 PM and just waiting for the show to be over.

 

A few of my highlights:

 

Best dressed - Laura Dern! Holy crap that emerald sparkly dress fit her like a glove. So flattering and fancy in all the right ways! Her blonde curly locks just made it even better. I loved her from head to toe. I have not yet seen Enlightened, but I’ve heard good things and it’s on my list. Anyway, for the Actress in a Comedy or Musical TV series, I was REALLY pulling for Amy Poehler in this category, with Laura Linney as my second choice. Amy is pretty much amazing in Parks & Recreation, and it’s one of my favorite comedy shows probably of all time. She deserved to win! So... that leaves Tina Fey and Zooey Deschanel - I don’t think either of them really had a chance of winning in comparison with the other nominees, so I’m okay with that.

 

Kate Winslet won another Globe (handed to her by an orange-skinned, backwards-aging Rob Lowe - seriously, if there was ever a Benjamin Button of our day, I think he’s it), and she still somehow acts surprised! Her and Meryl Streep both... they act like it’s so unexpected. Come on, we all know you both are shoo-ins. Well, I guess they are actresses and that’s what they do. It’s still much deserved; they are both fantastic.

 

For the Best Drama TV Series, Homeland was a good choice. Never in recent history has my heart beat so far out of my chest watching a television show. If you haven’t given it a try yet, you should. Although I am kind of in love with Game of Thrones, so I was a little disappointed it didn’t win, but I understand. Tough competition these days.

 

Commercial break: I cannot get through a preview of Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close without getting emotional. I’m going to have to see that in theaters by myself, because I’m positive I will embarrass anyone I’m sitting around with the amount of tears and snot emerging from my face.

 

Back to the show: That guy that won for Best Original Score for The Artist is SO FRENCH! And do people still care about Madonna? Just asking.

 

News flash - Brad Pitt is back to his long golden-ish locks! That makes me unreasonably happy. I just wish Angelina wasn’t wearing a satin dress that looked like she hopped out of the year 1992. And please, I love you, eat a cracker or something.

 

So Michelle Williams is ADORABLE. I’m glad she won Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy, even though I haven’t seen My Week with Marilyn. And talk about super fashion sense! Loved her whole look. I think I’m going through a long-sleeved dress phase, because Michelle was my number two on the best dressed list. A few people remarked to me that they were surprised Kristen Wiig didn’t win this category. I mean, Kristen Wiig is my girl, I basically want to be her, but when you’re up against someone doing a great impression of another person, you’re probably not going to win the award. Plus, Bridesmaids was a super fun movie, but not exactly an acting breakthrough. She’s got time yet. Let it simmer.

 

News flash - Piper from Coyote Ugly is back in business! Who knew?!

 

Good for Peter Dinklage; I love Game of Thrones! Can’t believe he was the only one repping the show in nominations. I think it should have been nominated for a lot more, and this was a well deserved win for Peter.

 

Third best dressed - Jessica Alba. Sparkles! Lavender! Classic! Plus she has the best body of anyone ever, so she could be wearing a plastic bag and still probably make my top five.

 

Fifth best dressed (you’ll find fourth below - I told you this would be sporadic) is Nicole Kidman! She also wins the award for tiniest waist.

 

Best Screenplay went to Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris. Extremely exciting and well deserved. If you haven’t yet seen this movie, see it now! Seriously, stop reading this and go watch it. Let me know what you think.

 

Favorite presenter speech goes to: Felicity Huffman and William H Macy! Gotta love a little cheery melody to spice things up. Which leads to - I am so happy that Jessica Lange won for Best Supporting Actress in a TV series! Her character Constance on American Horror Story is batshit crazy and I can’t get enough. If you haven’t watched AHS yet, you should! You’ll either love it or love to hate it! Either way, it’s entertaining and it gets inside your head. Really, I had bad dreams during the entire first season. Like, demons eating my face and ghosts in my closet bad dreams.

 

I was really, really rooting for Madeleine Stowe for Best Actress in a TV Series. Her character on Revenge, Victoria Grayson, is a scene stealer and I love her. I’m happy for Claire Danes, though, and as I’ve said before Homeland is fantastic. But seriously, Claire, it’s called fashion tape. Not using it distracted from your dress, and your nipples are the only reason you are not in my top five best dressed list!

 

I don’t have any comments about Best Actor in a TV Series except for: How is Alec Baldwin nominated again?! How does anything from 30 Rock still get nominated? And Joey won! I have not seen Episodes. Joey with gray hair is weird!

 

BOMBSHELL ALERT: Salma Hayek! Wowzers. That geometric metallic chesty dress was fantastic. She is fourth on my best dressed list! Ok, maybe third. I’m re-watching the Globes as I’m writing this and she just looks... breathtaking.

Modern Family won Best TV Comedy - surprise! Did anyone expect anything different? I would have thrown my TV out the window if Glee won. I can’t believe it was even nominated (again).

 

For Best Comedy or Musical Movie, I was rooting for Midnight in Paris, because it was one of the more inspiring movies I’ve seen recently - a fantastically imaginative adult fairy tale. But then I was really happy The Artist won because otherwise I would not have seen that adorable dog parading around on stage. Also, I have not seen The Artist, so that is why I am ambivalent about it winning except for the dog bit. I’ve heard it’s fantastic, but so was Midnight in Paris. So there.

 

Congrats to George Clooney, I just saw The Descendants and it was very touching. Who doesn’t like it when George wins an award? He always has some of my favorite acceptance speeches. Finally livened the place up a bit with his humor and class!

 

The Descendants also won for Best Drama Movie - a good pick! I literally have not seen any of the other nominated movies, though, so I’m not the most qualified person to comment on this category.

 

For those of you still with me, congratulations and I’m sorry. I tend to incoherently ramble when it comes to these things. Just wait until the Oscars! Things are gonna get real crazy around here.

 

Renee is a Correspondent for The Red Room Podcast.  Get Television updates on Twitter @redroompodcast

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